Looking forward to numbers 23 – ∞

I have written 2 blogs recently, but they were both on paper ("taking the "b" out of the portmanteau "blog"), and I'll upload them when I get to it. In the meantime, I'm compelled to tell a short story.

I'm taking a graduate school class at the University of Buffalo this fall. A departmental secretary named Nancy Myers signed me up for the class, but to do anything else I need my UB "person number" and my UB password. In order to get one, you need the other, and vice-versa. Now I know UB is a giant bureaucratic public school where students are treated as numbers, but I have the handy connection of my recent nice interactions with the aforementioned departmental secretary. These people hold all the power at universities, so I am always extra nice to make sure I can get help when I need it. (And because, you know, I'm nice.)

In order to circumvent the need for person number or password to get the other, I finally found a help link saying I could request my info be sent to me if the department also requested it. Bingo, I know just who to ask. So I sent Ms. Myers a very nice email carefully explaining the situation and clearly requesting her help, and I received this as a response:


Alright, no big deal. These types of auto-responses are common enough in busy offices. I'm sure Ms. Iszkun was more than capable of helping me out, especially if I wrote another nice email explaining the situation. So I did, and received this as a response:


I am not ashamed to admit that I only read 148 pages of Joseph Heller's Catch 22 (especially because the book report I gave, including questions by the teacher, got an A+), but I read enough of it to know one when I see one. Come on, UB, don't be like this. I am new to you, UB; I am a blank slate waiting to be impressed by every level of your institution. I will treat you right, promising to participate beneficially in your community and to sing your praises to other potential members, if you will only just offer me a logical path to follow on my academic journey. This is all I ask, UB, and we are off to a bad start.