*today's gimm*ick

*So guess what I have? I*'ll give you *a hint. *It comes in semi-regular interva*ls, *is distracting* while you *type, and is a spasm of* your diaphragm. Give *up? It's the hic*cups! Hooray*! Actuall*y I think the hiccups* are super-annoy*ing, but I thought I'd try and do something interesting with them sinc*e I've got them. *Every time you see a*n asterisk, that's when I hiccuppe*d. So *there you have it. Thi*s is what it's *like to type with* the hiccups. In case you hav*en't tried *it. It's pretty anno*ying to *read, I assume? Well it's annoy*ing to write too.* * * (*That was a moment where I was tr*ying to plan what *to say next. I'm trying to be as stre*am-of-con*sciousness as I can here*, to keep the flow*... flowin'.*) *I don't really like the hiccup*s, and I'll tell you why. I don't* like it when I'm *not the one who's controlling something in my body*. For example, I don'*t like being sick,* I don'*t like it when hunger or sleepynes*s impedes my ability to function, an*d I don't* like being really, REALLY drunk (*A little drunk or regul*ar drunk is okay)*.* Whoa! Those two were quick!*

*

*Damn y*ou, the hiccups. Damn your eyes.* Maybe I* should try* holding my breath.

(inhale)

I'm taking blogging to a whole new level today. This is what it's like to type while you're holding your breath! Awesome! I wonder if it comes through to the reader. I imagine not, since I'm not being very delicate about my writing here. You can tell someone is a good writer when they're like "This is what I'm doing, and this is how you should be feeling!" That makes it very clear to the reader, but perhaps not very engrossing.

Though speaking of involving the reader, I'm pretty sure I know what you're thinking. I'll admit it, people, I didn't hold my breath that whole time. A few times I gently let it out and inhaled again. That's how you do it when you want to relax your diaphragm, and that's what I wanted so that's what I did. Lo, and behold! The troublesome hiccups have dissappeared, and with them has gone the asterisk-gimmick!

END OF STORY. NO POINT, NO EDITING.