splash

I have taken the plunge. Not only did I get a job, but I have broken my lifelong streaks of working in neither retail nor food service. However, if I must work in one or the other, I think I have made a wise choice.

I am now a Baristo at Starbucks.

Let it be known that baristo is not a Starbucks corporate-sanctioned term. But I'll call myself a barista when I call myself a "ragazza" or a "muchacha." NOT LIKELY.

*

On a totally disparate note, I noticed that today is the day when I finally shove the SHAVIFESTO off the bottom of my blog. Maybe it's appropriate, since I now have a beard? I still think it's pretty good. Is it weird or conceited to look back on random things one wrote on the internet when one was idle and think, "Well done, One, that is amusing to me still!"? I hope it is not. I definitely do that sometimes and I'm NOT STOPPING. In fact, you should too! If it wasn't amusing (or at least diverting) for ourselves we wouldn't do these things, so we should enjoy them more than once. Considering my limited/possibly-nonexistent audience, I know I do.

I feel it is important to say here, on the internet, that if you are a robot secretly walking among us that is FINE with me. I will offer your robotic hands high-fives of the same genuine quality that I would give to human hands.

Philip K Dick (the robot), you are welcome at my house.

Philip K Dick (the corpse), dead these 20-some years, please do not come to my house.

Jack Returns, a summer blockbuster in the making

Hello, The Internet. How are you.

Yes, it's me.

I hope this is not a bad time. I don't mean to barge in on you like this, but I just got the guts to come over and, well, I guess that's about as far as I had thought it out. I know I have been gone a long time, and I expect you have moved on. But I just wanted you to know that I thought about you often during my adventures. I did, I missed you, The Internet.

I missed the easy access to pop-culture and general information that Wikipedia so happily provides. I missed the ability to find a picture of anything at a moment's notice with Google. I have webcomics that have taken whole new directions since I last talked to them, and I feel left out of their new lives. I even missed writing a Thing on my blog, hoping that someone will read it someday. Any reader(s?) I had have undoubtedly given up on me. It was a risk I had to take. I had to go.

Adventures are great. Everyone should have Adventures. But when you come back it's hard to reintegrate in the busy world that has gone on without you. I have had so many new and different experiences, but all people want to know is, "How were the Adventures?" They sound mystified that their pat and disinterested "how are you" has been reworded, but they please themselves by expecting the same answer. "Adventures were great," you say, and nothing more. Somehow the content is out the window and my entire experience is summed up in one superlative. I try to follow up with stories, but my listeners' eyes glass over as they think about how great it is that yesterday and last week were the same as today. A drop of envy and the desire to return to the status quo go a long way.

How funny, here I am rambling like nothing has changed. Just like old times, huh Internet? I'm all going on about how no one wants to hear my great stories, and in the meantime I haven't told a single one. Honestly, now that I have the chance, I don't really feel like it. Another time, when you're interested.

Goodbye for now. I'm back now, and things are going to be, well, great.