Relatively innocuous items that I, as a child, thought were scary looking

Art

I've been thinking for a while about commissioning some art. I don't really know how one goes about doing that, but I think it would be interesting. I live right near an art school. Perhaps I should just walk over and look around. Or call them up like, "Do you know anyone who can make me some art?" and they'd be all, "Every person I know, ever, could make you some art." Then I'd be all, "Okay but what about someone who could make me some good art?" and they'd be all, "Oh him, yeah let me put him on the line.

The other part of this is that I want to commission a portrait of myself. (It's actually kind of like two different portraits of myself at the same time. I have this really cool concept, but it's not important for the purposes of this thought.) What I'm thinking is, is that really narcissistic and weird? If you go to art museums they're all full of portraits, but it always gives off the vibe that the subjects were awful rich people who were so self-absorbed. But when I was growing up there was this portrait of my dad as a young man that was hanging in my bedroom. I always thought it was really cool, particularly because I currently look exactly like that painting. Even as a kid I felt like I knew this would happen. I always had this idea that it was supposed to be a painting of my father in the past, but it was really a painting of me in the future, like some tralfamadorian coincidence of multiple points of time. It sounds pretty out there to describe it now, but as a kid I sort of took this idea for granted.

Anyway, the point is that there was this portrait of my dad and I really liked it, and now I feel like I'm at a time in my life where I'd like to be remembered. Maybe, like the portraits in the museum, if I get a really good artist to do carry out my ideas then the execution will overshadow the inherent narcissism of paying money to look at a portrait of myself. Then in the future I'll outfit my kid's room with the picture of my dad and the picture of me. "I hope you like these paintings, Junior, because barring any horribly disfiguring accidents you're going to look just like that."

"...well, maybe not just like the one on the right. Daddy took a few liberties with his concept. But hey, maybe you will! Wouldn't that be exciting!?"

My Exciting Life on a Treadmill

I've re-started my attempts at staving off heart failure by regular running. I go to the nearby gym to run because I find I can distract myself more on a treadmill than outside. Living in a city, it's harder to keep a regular pace when I'm outside due to traffic lights and varying terrain. Instead of distracting I find this reminds me what I'm doing even more. Plus (and maybe I'm alone in this) there's also the constant fear of twisting an ankle and being a mile away from home with nothing but an iPod and a limp as a mugger-aimed "easy target" bullseye. But mostly it's just that once I'm on the treadmill I can get used to the annoyance of running and then try to zone out and forget what I'm doing. This is particularly true when the weather is 28° and snowy, as it was today.

Usually during the spring/summer/fall I run facing the windows out to the big field in front of the gym complex. Oftentimes there are sports teams practicing or playing and I can silently root for or laugh at people. Sometimes in the winter I can face the other windows and watch the basketball team practicing on the court down below. Unfortunately, today I had neither option. It was snowy with a frigid wind, so the best I could get was to watch the front and try to enjoy watching people walk past all bundled against the cold. This wasn't easy to do, as my mind kept reminding me that my increasingly sweaty body was going to freeze as I walked home, even as it stunk up my coat/scarf/gloves. Double win!! However, I found one thing that really made me feel joyful as I huffed and puffed. Being so high up (about 2.5 stories) I had a wide and deep view of the falling snow. I found that by sharpening my focus arbitrarily at different points in front of me I could see all the little eddies and twirls in the airflow by noticing the varied direction of the snow. It seemed like no two points were the same. I could create a really cool effect by focusing near me and watching the snow, then moving my focus farther away to the patch that was right behind each previous patch. If I did it smoothly it felt like I was going into hyperspace in Star Wars (see the picture, that's me with Han Solo). This "eye game" made for some really beautiful moments. And while I've noticed this effect before, I never would have explored it so thoroughly without thoroughly trying to ignore the counter that says "1.535 miles to go."

Music sounds better when it's legal AND free!

So for those of you who like music, I great news! It is particularly good news if you like music that is difficult to find via traditional sources (local Best Buy, your friends). There was an ad run in Spin Magazine, the only magazine I spend the time to read. Check out http://www.emusic.com/spin and get 50 free downloads from their bank of "more than 600,000 tracks from 9,000 of the world's leading independent labels. Unlike the other digital music services, [they] are 100% focused on independent music consumers and labels." Now I've seen these gigs before, they ask you to sign up for something free then run you through the ringer to let you cancel in the hopes that you'll forget or give up and auto-pay from your credit card. However, eMusic.com makes it easy to get in and get out. Though it may end up working against them, they make it easy to cancel your service with the click of a button. Seriously no strings attached. It's easy and legal. So try it out. I found the website and (optional) download manager very easy to use, and I was impressed by the selection of artists. I may even sign up for this once I move out of a place where I can share music so easily with the campus I live on.

(Free) Downloads I am currently enjoying:

dEUS - Pocket Revolution

Dälek - From Filthy Tongue of Gods and Griots

Saxon Shore - The Exquisite Death of Saxon Shore

Prequel to Wolf Mix

What have I been doing with my life this week? What is a Wolf Mix? What does it have to do with two wolves doing it "Wolfy Style?" You're just going to have to wait and find out...

An Open Letter to Service Providers

Service Providers of the World:

I understand that you have a job that primarily deals with people complaining and you trying to fix their problems. It sucks to listen to people complain. People are rude, people feel entitled to all sorts of crazy things, people think they are the most important thing in the world. I have been in your shoes. I understand. But there are things you can do to make your own life easier, and if you let yourself get jaded you are going to miss them and increase your own stress.

First of all, recognize when someone is trying to be reasonable. I have been on the phone with CVS and/or my insurance company (or visiting CVS in person) for a week now. I have constantly been told to try back another day. I have been extremely deferential. This has clearly resulted in everyone involved mistaking my politeness for a lack of urgency or an invitation to walk all over me. This is what eventually makes me a bitchy and rude customer that you hate. However, if that is the only way someone is going to get through to you, then I submit that it is your own fault for not helping me during my lengthy polite phase.

Secondly, do not interrupt people when they are asking a question or trying to explain themselves. Perhaps people who deal with prescriptions all day are used to elderly people asking the same questions and speaking very slowly, so they try to head them off by interrupting. Unfortunately, several times now I have been interrupted and had a lengthy explanation of a question that I was not asking. Add that to the bored tone and uninterruptable pace of the explanation and it ends up taking a pretty long time. By the end I still have to explain myself, but both of us are more pissed off. Again, this makes me a bitchy customer. Neither of us wants that.

Third, realize that when a customer is calling or visiting they are not really speaking to you, they are speaking to the company or group you work for. Not that customers don't respect their service providers, but if I have visited CVS five times over the past week, I have every right to be a bit annoyed at the lack of results. This is what I am upset about: CVS. Not you. Don't take it personally. If you engage my humanity you can get me on your side. Tell me this is the first time you're dealing with my case, and listen to my (very cogent and reasonable) explanation. Perhaps ask a coworker who may have dealt with me before, or have that person deal with me again. Do not treat me like a number. Is it a double standard, that the service provider is considered a representative of the larger group but the customer must be dealt with individually? Yes, it is a double standard. That is why I am paying you. Not so that I can be rude, no one has the right to be rude, but because I am unable to deal with this issue myself. Recognize that if you treat each case as unique, appeal to the basic politeness and understanding that is inherent to most of your customers, and empathize with how frustrating it is to be at the absolute bottom of a pyramid of rules and bureaucracy, then you and the customer can work together instead of against each other.

The bottom line is that everyone has been in the customer position of some frustrating system. Not everyone has been in the (sometimes equally frustrating) service provider position, or if they have not everyone has the presence of mind to generalize their experience to their interactions with you. I have tried to be very understanding in this regard, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. But if you don't acknowledge this attempt and treat me with contempt as if I am your most obnoxious customer, then natural defensiveness dictates that I eventually become an obnoxious customer. This doesn't make me feel any better than it does you, and Lord knows it's not any easier for anyone. So please, recognize polite and reasonable people, don't interrupt anyone (unless perhaps it's with a clarifying question), and don't take a customer's anxiety or frustration personally. Some people will always be rude and unreasonable, but most of your customers will appreciate and reciprocate your politeness, even if they don't realize it, because you will put them at ease.

Thank you for your attention. I hope we can all work together more effectively in the future.

Very Sincerely,
Jack Mack

Interviewz

I have a job interview today. I'm fairly relaxed because while some people have a good memory or are very analytical, my particular skill set allows me to be confidant that I'll interview well. I'm good with meeting people, I think best on my feet and I'm broadly comfortable within the textures of conversation. But how different would it be if this interview was being recorded? Recently I watch a "documentary" that a friend made about another friend's band (I believe it was for a class) and it really seemed that every answer the bandmates gave either sounded silly and unoriginal or painfully haughty. Trying too hard all around. I mean I'm sure that, as confidant in my verbal abilities as I am, not everything I say is perfectly eloquent. I simply count on the overall impression to be good, which easily overrides any inarticulate moments in the middle. The difference is that a recorded interview can be manipulated to hide or highlight those moments with editing. The mind of the "live" interviewer does it for me, but I wonder how I'd come off if I was asked a few questions in front of a camera. It's kind of scary that those answers could exist forever, in some capacity. Do you plan out what you want to say, or go off-the-cuff? Consider that either way has a high probability of making you sound like a jackass when someone watches it a year later. I'm lucky that at this point in my life I'm not notable enough to warrant filming, but perhaps someday I will be. I guess when the time comes I'll just pray for a good editor.

Goodbye, cruel Cleveland

A good friend of mine is leaving Cleveland forever. I mean, he may well come back and visit at some point, but you know how hard that is. Is it really selfish for me to be sad to see him go? I kind of feel like it is. As soon as he wrote his friends to tell us, I had two simultaneous reactions: "Oh that is so great for Charles, that's exactly what he needs in life," and "Oh that sucks so bad for me because I love hanging out with him, plus he's one of the few people I know who has been here as long as I have." Of course I'm sad to see my friend leave, but for some reason I feel weirdly selfish thinking about it. Maybe it's because I'm a bit jealous. Maybe I'm overemphasizing the length of our friendship and I don't know if it's really requited. Or maybe I'm afraid that I've been around here long enough that no one is going to feel all nostalgic and sad when I leave.

STALK ME

Want to see some pictures of me with people I know? Check this out. It's my photo album on Facebook.com, which is a college-centric version of Friendster. These things are generally very great. Via a feature of Facebook that allows you to do very detailed searches for people, particularly by "hometown" or "high school," I've connected with some great people that I had lost track of over the years. Of course, it probably also multiplies my chances of being stalked or identity-theived or whatever. (As if a Blog wasn't enough?) But for that small price I get to see funny pictures of my friends and me on the internet! I'd like to retain my identity, but come on, who wouldn't mind being stalked just a little. It's like techno-flattery. Climbing up the ivy to your lover's balcony for the 21st century.


PS- The spell checker on Blogger.com doesn't recognize the word Blog. Luckily, I DO.

nighttime

Some nights are best spent with some tea, a good book, and some sad folk music. :)

MF Doom

I'm a big fan of MF Doom, Viktor Vaughn, King Geedorah, and any other projects by Daniel Dumile. Dude has the illest flows and rhyme schemes that interweave like ivy. He also creates albums with concepts, but doesn't let them get corny. He explains the multiplicity of his characters and the creative concepts behind his album construction very well in this interview. But the weakness of his process is that he apparently feels that albums are made better by shovelling on these silly skits. Now, they're not your average hip-hop skits featuring several of the rapper's friends mumbling about weed or how someone needs to get shot. They're entirely made up of samples, usually of old Fantastic 4 cartoons (to suit his name). But in a 45 minute album, 10 minutes of it might be these "skits," reducing the part that's worth listening to more than once (or once to begin with) to slivers of between reaching for the fast-forward button. However, there seems to be an answer for maximum Doom: collaborating with someone who has a big enough musical presence not to let his samples get in the way. This has now been shown to be true twice. First on 2004's Madvilliany with producer Madlib (which was nominated for or won ever hip-hop/music accolade that year), then again last year with the less-serious but still fantastic DANGER DOOM with producer DJ Danger Mouse (of The Grey Album fame). These fellas keep Doom on the straight and narrow: lyrics and beats. While Madvilliany dabbles with some public-domain speech samples, they almost always serve to add to the ambiance of the record as short asides instead of adding distracting filler. Learn the lesson doggy. Either taper your own production to the more efficient and listener-friendly style of your peers or just keep teaming up with someone who can keep their hand out of the self-indulgence cookie jar.

Home

Vacations are fun, but there is nothing quite like returning home and sleeping in your own bed. Sleeping for 14.5 hours doesn't hurt either.

As I often do when I sleep late, I had some wacky dreams. I dreamed that I went on some kind of cultural exchange program to go live with a communist family up the street from my parents' house. Oh, and the father of the family was Stalin, that was pretty weird too. We talked about classical music, he was pretty okay. But then I snuck out and tried to lead a revolution with a bunch of American and Russian high school kids. (They weren't too into it. Freakin' distractable high school kids.) I also had one later about picking out stickers in a music store. And a bunch of others. And I woke up with "Whisper Grass" by Elbow in my head.

ANYWAY this wasn't supposed to be about dreams. But I guess I am home now so I can do whatever I want.